Vicky Beeching - From Shame to Pride (N175)

00:00
00:00

Vicky Beeching was the darling of the Christian worship scene. For a decade she wrote hit albums and toured American mega-churches, leading worship for thousands of people every week. Her songs become some of the most sung around the world. But from the age of 13 Vicky had kept a secret. She was gay.   When finally at the age of 35 she came out, the evangelical Church she loved turned on her. Boycotting her music, they ended her career over night. This was backed up with an unrelenting flood of online abuse. We chat with Vicky about the importance of wholeness, vulnerability, authenticity and the radical and inclusive love of Jesus.   After the interview Nomad hosts Tim Nash and Jemimah McAlpine reflect on Vicky's story and on their own journey towards an affirming theology. Interview begins at 8m 2s If you want more from Nomad, check out our website, and follow us on Facebook and twitter. Nomad can only keep going because a small group of faithful listeners help us pay the bills. Our donors gain access to a wide range of bonus content, such as Nomad Book Club, The Beloved Listener Lounge, Nomad Contemplations, Nomad Devotionals, and of course, the Beloved Listener mug! Head over to our Patreon page for more information. If you're not fussed about the bonus content, you can make a one-off or regular donation through PayPal, the links to which you can find on our support page. And if you're looking for other people to share this journey with, then register on our Listener Map, and see if any other nomads are in your area. 

Released on 22 Jun 2018

Share this page...

Trending Audio

Matters of Life & Death

The powers of the age: Spiritual warfare, evil and technology in the 21st c...

Daily Hope with Pastor Rick Warren

How God Lifts Me Up When I’m Worn Down

Worship 100

2. Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) - Shane & Shane

Faith, Hope, and Love with Maria Rodrigues

I was abused at 15 but I use my trauma to help others

SettingsRequest history8.3.17PHP Version874msRequest Duration4MBMemory UsageGET podcasts/{podcast}/episodes/{episode}
status
200 OK
full_url
https://premier.amperative.site/podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/vicky-beeching-from-shame-to-pride-n...
action_name
podcasts.episodes.show
controller_action
App\Http\Controllers\PodcastEpisodesController@show
Theme
Open Button Position
Hide Empty Tabs
Autoshow
Reset to defaults
status
200 OK
full_url
https://premier.amperative.site/podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/vicky-beeching-from-shame-to-pride-n...
action_name
podcasts.episodes.show
controller_action
App\Http\Controllers\PodcastEpisodesController@show
uri
GET podcasts/{podcast}/episodes/{episode}
scope_bindings
true
controller
App\Http\Controllers\PodcastEpisodesController@show
file
app/Http/Controllers/PodcastEpisodesController.php:20-36
middleware
web
duration
873ms
peak_memory
4MB
response
text/html; charset=UTF-8
request_format
html
request_query
[]
request_request
[]
request_headers
0 of 0
array:15 [ "host" => array:1 [ 0 => "premier.amperative.site" ] "connection" => array:1 [ 0 => "keep-alive" ] "pragma" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache" ] "cache-control" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache" ] "sec-ch-ua" => array:1 [ 0 => ""Chromium";v="130", "HeadlessChrome";v="130", "Not?A_Brand";v="99"" ] "sec-ch-ua-mobile" => array:1 [ 0 => "?0" ] "sec-ch-ua-platform" => array:1 [ 0 => ""Windows"" ] "upgrade-insecure-requests" => array:1 [ 0 => "1" ] "user-agent" => array:1 [ 0 => "Mozilla/5.0 AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko; compatible; ClaudeBot/1.0; +claudebot@anthropic.com)" ] "accept" => array:1 [ 0 => "text/html,application/xhtml+xml,application/xml;q=0.9,image/avif,image/webp,image/apng,*/*;q=0.8,application/signed-exchange;v=b3;q=0.7" ] "sec-fetch-site" => array:1 [ 0 => "none" ] "sec-fetch-mode" => array:1 [ 0 => "navigate" ] "sec-fetch-user" => array:1 [ 0 => "?1" ] "sec-fetch-dest" => array:1 [ 0 => "document" ] "accept-encoding" => array:1 [ 0 => "gzip, deflate, br, zstd" ] ]
request_cookies
[]
response_headers
0 of 0
array:3 [ "content-type" => array:1 [ 0 => "text/html; charset=UTF-8" ] "cache-control" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache, private" ] "date" => array:1 [ 0 => "Mon, 07 Jul 2025 20:43:21 GMT" ] ]
session_attributes
0 of 0
array:1 [ "_token" => "T3ksM74L50MOtxXX1eUnnjUP1r4O1gZwpBRTmfkr" ]
    • Booting (54.79ms)time
    • Application (819ms)time
    • Routing (4.69ms)
    • 1 x Application (93.73%)
      819ms
      1 x Booting (6.27%)
      54.79ms
      1 x Routing (0.54%)
      4.69ms
      62 templates were rendered
      • 1x templates.podcast-episodes.showshow.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x livewire.section-podcast-playersection-podcast-player.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.sections.header-playerheader-player.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.sections.header-topheader-top.blade.php#?blade
      • 35x components.iconicon.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.player.tracktrack.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.modals.modal-confirmationmodal-confirmation.blade.php#?blade
      • 3x components.modals.generic-1generic-1.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.sharethissharethis.blade.php#?blade
      • 3x components.cards.episodeepisode.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.modals.model-show-signupmodel-show-signup.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.recommendations.index-bespokeindex-bespoke.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.promotional-blockspromotional-blocks.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.sections.footerfooter.blade.php#?blade
      • 2x components.form.inputinput.blade.php#?blade
      • 2x components.form.input-groupinput-group.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.layouts.mastermaster.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.faviconfavicon.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.social-metasocial-meta.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.modals.searchsearch.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.toast-controllertoast-controller.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.modals.model-show-thank-youmodel-show-thank-you.blade.php#?blade
      uri
      GET podcasts/{podcast}/episodes/{episode}
      middleware
      web
      scope_bindings
      true
      controller
      App\Http\Controllers\PodcastEpisodesController@show
      as
      podcasts.episodes.show
      file
      app/Http/Controllers/PodcastEpisodesController.php:20-36
      26 statements were executed (14 duplicates)Show only duplicates73.85ms
      • RedirectMiddleware.php#49premier880μsselect * from `redirects` where `is_regex` = 1 and `redirects`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Middleware/RedirectMiddleware.php:49
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:116
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:797
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:776
      • RedirectMiddleware.php#79premier590μsselect * from `redirects` where `is_regex` = 0 and `match` = '/podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/vicky-beeching-from-shame-to-pride-n175' and `is_active` = 1 and `redirects`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 0
        • 1: /podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/vicky-beeching-from-shame-to-pride-n175
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Middleware/RedirectMiddleware.php:79
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:116
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:797
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:776
      • DatabaseSessionHandler.php#97premier610μsselect * from `sessions` where `id` = 'eryc85WavjOnULhUpVpyIom4PPgHeOxIs3eN4qKr' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: eryc85WavjOnULhUpVpyIom4PPgHeOxIs3eN4qKr
        Backtrace
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/DatabaseSessionHandler.php:97
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php:113
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php:101
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php:85
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Middleware/StartSession.php:147
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#42premier1msselect * from `podcasts` where `slug` = 'nomad-podcast' and `is_active` = 1 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: nomad-podcast
        • 1: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:42
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ImplicitRouteBinding.php:61
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:947
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Middleware/SubstituteBindings.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#59premier39.14msselect * from `podcast_episodes` where `podcast_episodes`.`podcast_id` = 58 and `podcast_episodes`.`podcast_id` is not null and `slug` = 'vicky-beeching-from-shame-to-pride-n175' and `podcast_episodes`.`deleted_at` is null order by `published_at` desc limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: vicky-beeching-from-shame-to-pride-n175
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ImplicitRouteBinding.php:56
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:947
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Middleware/SubstituteBindings.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
      • PromotionalBlockCacheMiddleware.php#24premier980μsselect * from `promotional_blocks` where (`display_from` is null or `display_from` < '2025-07-07 21:43:21') and (`display_to` is null or `display_to` > '2025-07-07 21:43:21')
        Bindings
        • 0: 2025-07-07 21:43:21
        • 1: 2025-07-07 21:43:21
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Middleware/PromotionalBlockCacheMiddleware.php:24
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/Repository.php:397
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/CacheManager.php:408
        • app/Http/Middleware/PromotionalBlockCacheMiddleware.php:23
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
      • PodcastEpisodesController.php#22premier550μsselect exists(select * from `brands` where `brands`.`id` is null and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null) as `exists`
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Controllers/PodcastEpisodesController.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ControllerDispatcher.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Route.php:259
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Route.php:205
      • PodcastEpisode.php#195premier800μsselect exists(select * from `musicables` where `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\PodcastEpisode' and `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 11151 and `musicables`.`musicable_id` is not null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: App\Models\PodcastEpisode
        • 1: 11151
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:104
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • PodcastEpisode.php#102premier580μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`id` = 58 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:102
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:104
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • Podcast.php#215premier820μsselect exists(select * from `music_genres` inner join `musicables` on `music_genres`.`id` = `musicables`.`music_genre_id` where `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 58 and `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\Podcast' and `music_genres`.`deleted_at` is null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: App\Models\Podcast
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Podcast.php:215
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:104
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • SectionPodcastPlayer.php#108premier490μsselect * from `listenable_progress_items` where `listenable_progress_items`.`listenable_type` = 'App\Models\PodcastEpisode' and `listenable_progress_items`.`listenable_id` = 11151 and `listenable_progress_items`.`listenable_id` is not null and `user_id` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: App\Models\PodcastEpisode
        • 1: 11151
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:108
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • SectionPodcastPlayer.php#168premier9.59msselect * from `podcast_episodes` where `podcast_id` = 58 and `published_at` < '2018-06-22 09:14:19' and `podcast_episodes`.`deleted_at` is null order by `published_at` desc limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: 2018-06-22 09:14:19
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:168
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:45
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • SectionPodcastPlayer.php#178premier9.87msselect * from `podcast_episodes` where `podcast_id` = 58 and `published_at` > '2018-06-22 09:14:19' and `podcast_episodes`.`deleted_at` is null order by `published_at` asc limit 3
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: 2018-06-22 09:14:19
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:178
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:46
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • PodcastEpisode.php#195premier610μsselect exists(select * from `musicables` where `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\PodcastEpisode' and `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 11151 and `musicables`.`musicable_id` is not null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: App\Models\PodcastEpisode
        • 1: 11151
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:4
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
      • Podcast.php#215premier520μsselect exists(select * from `music_genres` inner join `musicables` on `music_genres`.`id` = `musicables`.`music_genre_id` where `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 58 and `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\Podcast' and `music_genres`.`deleted_at` is null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: App\Models\Podcast
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Podcast.php:215
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:4
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
      • Setting.php#20premier900μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
      • Setting.php#20premier550μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
      • Setting.php#20premier490μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
      • PodcastEpisode.php#195premier850μsselect exists(select * from `musicables` where `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\PodcastEpisode' and `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 11151 and `musicables`.`musicable_id` is not null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: App\Models\PodcastEpisode
        • 1: 11151
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:132
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • Podcast.php#215premier570μsselect exists(select * from `music_genres` inner join `musicables` on `music_genres`.`id` = `musicables`.`music_genre_id` where `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 58 and `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\Podcast' and `music_genres`.`deleted_at` is null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: App\Models\Podcast
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Podcast.php:215
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:132
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • PodcastEpisode.php#102premier810μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`id` = 58 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:102
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:129
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:168
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
      • PodcastEpisode.php#102premier980μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`id` = 58 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:102
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:129
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:168
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
      • PodcastEpisode.php#102premier520μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`id` = 58 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:102
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:129
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:168
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
      • Setting.php#20premier400μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_login_modal_title' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_login_modal_title
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:110
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:69
      • Setting.php#20premier420μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_login_modal_subtitle' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_login_modal_subtitle
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:110
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:69
      • Setting.php#20premier330μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:110
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:69
      App\Models\Setting
      6Setting.php#?
      App\Models\Podcast
      5Podcast.php#?
      App\Models\PodcastEpisode
      5PodcastEpisode.php#?
      section-podcast-player #T80jGNAyOg8HBVyDDylw
      array:5 [ "data" => array:10 [ "podcast" => App\Models\Podcast {#2055 #connection: "mysq...
          _token
          T3ksM74L50MOtxXX1eUnnjUP1r4O1gZwpBRTmfkr
          ClearShow all
          Date ↕MethodURLData
          #12025-07-07 21:43:22GET/podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/vicky-beeching-from-shame-to-pride-n1756226161