Zoe Heming & Nick Thorley - Disability, Doubt and the Search for Wholeness (N210)

00:00
00:00

Rather than our usual interview format, in this episode we host a conversation between Zoe Heming and Nick Thorley. Zoe is a priest in the Church of England and for many years has suffered with chronic pain, which often means she has to use a wheelchair. Nick works for Christian Aid and (as you may be aware) hosts Nomad Podcast. He has been visually impaired since he was a teenager.  Zoe and Nick talk openly and honestly about their experience of disability, how it has shaped their life, faith, and experience of church, and how they’ve come to understand what it means to be whole. Conversation begins at 17m 25s If you want more from Nomad, check out our website, and follow us on Facebook and twitter. Nomad can only keep going because a small group of faithful listeners help us pay the bills. Our donors gain access to the Nomad community - which manifests as Nomad Book Club and The Beloved Listener Lounge - and bonus episodes, such as Nomad Contemplations, Nomad Devotionals and Nomad Revisited. And you may find yourself the proud owner of a Beloved Listener mug! Head over to our Patreon page to donate in dollars and our PayPal members page to donate in pounds. You might also want to have a look at our blog, which we're now using to share the stories of the evolving faith of our podcast listeners.  And if you're looking for other people to share this journey with, then register on our Listener Map and our Nomad Gathering Facebook page, and see if any other nomads are in your area.

Released on 11 Dec 2019

Share this page...
SettingsRequest history8.3.17PHP Version1.31sRequest Duration4MBMemory UsageGET podcasts/{podcast}/episodes/{episode}
status
200 OK
full_url
https://premier.amperative.site/podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/zoe-heming-amp-nick-thorley-disabili...
action_name
podcasts.episodes.show
controller_action
App\Http\Controllers\PodcastEpisodesController@show
Theme
Open Button Position
Hide Empty Tabs
Autoshow
Reset to defaults
status
200 OK
full_url
https://premier.amperative.site/podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/zoe-heming-amp-nick-thorley-disabili...
action_name
podcasts.episodes.show
controller_action
App\Http\Controllers\PodcastEpisodesController@show
uri
GET podcasts/{podcast}/episodes/{episode}
scope_bindings
true
controller
App\Http\Controllers\PodcastEpisodesController@show
file
app/Http/Controllers/PodcastEpisodesController.php:20-36
middleware
web
duration
1.31s
peak_memory
4MB
response
text/html; charset=UTF-8
request_format
html
request_query
[]
request_request
[]
request_headers
0 of 0
array:15 [ "host" => array:1 [ 0 => "premier.amperative.site" ] "connection" => array:1 [ 0 => "keep-alive" ] "pragma" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache" ] "cache-control" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache" ] "sec-ch-ua" => array:1 [ 0 => ""Chromium";v="130", "HeadlessChrome";v="130", "Not?A_Brand";v="99"" ] "sec-ch-ua-mobile" => array:1 [ 0 => "?0" ] "sec-ch-ua-platform" => array:1 [ 0 => ""Windows"" ] "upgrade-insecure-requests" => array:1 [ 0 => "1" ] "user-agent" => array:1 [ 0 => "Mozilla/5.0 AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko; compatible; ClaudeBot/1.0; +claudebot@anthropic.com)" ] "accept" => array:1 [ 0 => "text/html,application/xhtml+xml,application/xml;q=0.9,image/avif,image/webp,image/apng,*/*;q=0.8,application/signed-exchange;v=b3;q=0.7" ] "sec-fetch-site" => array:1 [ 0 => "none" ] "sec-fetch-mode" => array:1 [ 0 => "navigate" ] "sec-fetch-user" => array:1 [ 0 => "?1" ] "sec-fetch-dest" => array:1 [ 0 => "document" ] "accept-encoding" => array:1 [ 0 => "gzip, deflate, br, zstd" ] ]
request_cookies
[]
response_headers
0 of 0
array:3 [ "content-type" => array:1 [ 0 => "text/html; charset=UTF-8" ] "cache-control" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache, private" ] "date" => array:1 [ 0 => "Sun, 22 Jun 2025 19:35:19 GMT" ] ]
session_attributes
0 of 0
array:1 [ "_token" => "s5EUhCQHcSZACJPb4PBhmFIKYYfkYr5whTSC66UR" ]
    • Booting (42.64ms)time
    • Application (1.27s)time
    • Routing (5.03ms)
    • 1 x Application (96.75%)
      1.27s
      1 x Booting (3.25%)
      42.64ms
      1 x Routing (0.38%)
      5.03ms
      62 templates were rendered
      • 1x templates.podcast-episodes.showshow.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x livewire.section-podcast-playersection-podcast-player.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.sections.header-playerheader-player.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.sections.header-topheader-top.blade.php#?blade
      • 35x components.iconicon.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.player.tracktrack.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.modals.modal-confirmationmodal-confirmation.blade.php#?blade
      • 3x components.modals.generic-1generic-1.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.sharethissharethis.blade.php#?blade
      • 3x components.cards.episodeepisode.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.modals.model-show-signupmodel-show-signup.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.recommendations.index-bespokeindex-bespoke.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.promotional-blockspromotional-blocks.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.sections.footerfooter.blade.php#?blade
      • 2x components.form.inputinput.blade.php#?blade
      • 2x components.form.input-groupinput-group.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.layouts.mastermaster.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.faviconfavicon.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.social-metasocial-meta.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.modals.searchsearch.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.toast-controllertoast-controller.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.modals.model-show-thank-youmodel-show-thank-you.blade.php#?blade
      uri
      GET podcasts/{podcast}/episodes/{episode}
      middleware
      web
      scope_bindings
      true
      controller
      App\Http\Controllers\PodcastEpisodesController@show
      as
      podcasts.episodes.show
      file
      app/Http/Controllers/PodcastEpisodesController.php:20-36
      26 statements were executed (14 duplicates)Show only duplicates48.12ms
      • RedirectMiddleware.php#49premier590μsselect * from `redirects` where `is_regex` = 1 and `redirects`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Middleware/RedirectMiddleware.php:49
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:116
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:797
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:776
      • RedirectMiddleware.php#79premier740μsselect * from `redirects` where `is_regex` = 0 and `match` = '/podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/zoe-heming-amp-nick-thorley-disability-doubt-and-the-search-for-wholeness-n210' and `is_active` = 1 and `redirects`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 0
        • 1: /podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/zoe-heming-amp-nick-thorley-disability-doubt-and-the-search-for-wholeness-n210
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Middleware/RedirectMiddleware.php:79
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:116
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:797
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:776
      • DatabaseSessionHandler.php#97premier560μsselect * from `sessions` where `id` = 'F5q4NzGoNC7IAPbiAmiBBnrf91XYbPv3LGZE4OqP' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: F5q4NzGoNC7IAPbiAmiBBnrf91XYbPv3LGZE4OqP
        Backtrace
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/DatabaseSessionHandler.php:97
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php:113
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php:101
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php:85
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Middleware/StartSession.php:147
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#42premier810μsselect * from `podcasts` where `slug` = 'nomad-podcast' and `is_active` = 1 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: nomad-podcast
        • 1: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:42
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ImplicitRouteBinding.php:61
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:947
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Middleware/SubstituteBindings.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#59premier10.78msselect * from `podcast_episodes` where `podcast_episodes`.`podcast_id` = 58 and `podcast_episodes`.`podcast_id` is not null and `slug` = 'zoe-heming-amp-nick-thorley-disability-doubt-and-the-search-for-wholeness-n210' and `podcast_episodes`.`deleted_at` is null order by `published_at` desc limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: zoe-heming-amp-nick-thorley-disability-doubt-and-the-search-for-wholeness-n210
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ImplicitRouteBinding.php:56
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:947
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Middleware/SubstituteBindings.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
      • PromotionalBlockCacheMiddleware.php#24premier2.29msselect * from `promotional_blocks` where (`display_from` is null or `display_from` < '2025-06-22 20:35:19') and (`display_to` is null or `display_to` > '2025-06-22 20:35:19')
        Bindings
        • 0: 2025-06-22 20:35:19
        • 1: 2025-06-22 20:35:19
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Middleware/PromotionalBlockCacheMiddleware.php:24
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/Repository.php:397
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/CacheManager.php:408
        • app/Http/Middleware/PromotionalBlockCacheMiddleware.php:23
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
      • PodcastEpisodesController.php#22premier330μsselect exists(select * from `brands` where `brands`.`id` is null and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null) as `exists`
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Controllers/PodcastEpisodesController.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ControllerDispatcher.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Route.php:259
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Route.php:205
      • PodcastEpisode.php#195premier720μsselect exists(select * from `musicables` where `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\PodcastEpisode' and `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 11117 and `musicables`.`musicable_id` is not null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: App\Models\PodcastEpisode
        • 1: 11117
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:104
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • PodcastEpisode.php#102premier640μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`id` = 58 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:102
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:104
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • Podcast.php#215premier690μsselect exists(select * from `music_genres` inner join `musicables` on `music_genres`.`id` = `musicables`.`music_genre_id` where `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 58 and `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\Podcast' and `music_genres`.`deleted_at` is null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: App\Models\Podcast
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Podcast.php:215
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:104
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • SectionPodcastPlayer.php#108premier450μsselect * from `listenable_progress_items` where `listenable_progress_items`.`listenable_type` = 'App\Models\PodcastEpisode' and `listenable_progress_items`.`listenable_id` = 11117 and `listenable_progress_items`.`listenable_id` is not null and `user_id` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: App\Models\PodcastEpisode
        • 1: 11117
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:108
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • SectionPodcastPlayer.php#168premier12.05msselect * from `podcast_episodes` where `podcast_id` = 58 and `published_at` < '2019-12-11 13:28:29' and `podcast_episodes`.`deleted_at` is null order by `published_at` desc limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: 2019-12-11 13:28:29
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:168
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:45
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • SectionPodcastPlayer.php#178premier8.72msselect * from `podcast_episodes` where `podcast_id` = 58 and `published_at` > '2019-12-11 13:28:29' and `podcast_episodes`.`deleted_at` is null order by `published_at` asc limit 3
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: 2019-12-11 13:28:29
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:178
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:46
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • PodcastEpisode.php#195premier500μsselect exists(select * from `musicables` where `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\PodcastEpisode' and `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 11117 and `musicables`.`musicable_id` is not null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: App\Models\PodcastEpisode
        • 1: 11117
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:4
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
      • Podcast.php#215premier570μsselect exists(select * from `music_genres` inner join `musicables` on `music_genres`.`id` = `musicables`.`music_genre_id` where `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 58 and `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\Podcast' and `music_genres`.`deleted_at` is null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: App\Models\Podcast
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Podcast.php:215
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:4
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
      • Setting.php#20premier780μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
      • Setting.php#20premier590μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
      • Setting.php#20premier450μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
      • PodcastEpisode.php#195premier770μsselect exists(select * from `musicables` where `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\PodcastEpisode' and `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 11117 and `musicables`.`musicable_id` is not null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: App\Models\PodcastEpisode
        • 1: 11117
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:132
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • Podcast.php#215premier690μsselect exists(select * from `music_genres` inner join `musicables` on `music_genres`.`id` = `musicables`.`music_genre_id` where `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 58 and `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\Podcast' and `music_genres`.`deleted_at` is null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: App\Models\Podcast
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Podcast.php:215
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:132
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • PodcastEpisode.php#102premier590μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`id` = 58 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:102
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:129
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:168
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
      • PodcastEpisode.php#102premier790μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`id` = 58 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:102
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:129
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:168
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
      • PodcastEpisode.php#102premier910μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`id` = 58 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:102
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:129
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:168
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
      • Setting.php#20premier930μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_login_modal_title' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_login_modal_title
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:110
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:69
      • Setting.php#20premier560μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_login_modal_subtitle' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_login_modal_subtitle
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:110
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:69
      • Setting.php#20premier620μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:110
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:69
      App\Models\Setting
      6Setting.php#?
      App\Models\Podcast
      5Podcast.php#?
      App\Models\PodcastEpisode
      5PodcastEpisode.php#?
      section-podcast-player #HbNicfMtSXZg792kyF4p
      array:5 [ "data" => array:10 [ "podcast" => App\Models\Podcast {#2055 #connection: "mysq...
          _token
          s5EUhCQHcSZACJPb4PBhmFIKYYfkYr5whTSC66UR
          ClearShow all
          Date ↕MethodURLData
          #12025-06-22 20:35:20GET/podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/zoe-heming-amp-nick-thorley-disability-doubt-and-the-search-for-wholeness-n2106226161