Jennie Hogan - This is My Body (N206)

00:00
00:00

When Jennie Hogan was 11 years old she had a brain haemorrhage. Then at the age of 14 she had another one. This devastating experience left her with a brain injury that would transform her life.  So we met up with Jennie at Goodenough College where she is a chaplain, to talk with her about how her experience of trauma, illness and disability has caused her to reflect on how she relates to her body, what an embodied faith means to her, how she’s learnt to live with uncertainty, and about the emergence of a new identity through her experience of brokenness. After the interview, Nomad hosts Tim Nash and Nick Thorley reflect on Jenny's faith journey and ponder how their own experiences of disability and brokenness have shaped their evolving faith.   Interview starts at 17m 17s If you want more from Nomad, check out our website, and follow us on Facebook and twitter. Nomad can only keep going because a small group of faithful listeners help us pay the bills. Our donors gain access to the Nomad community, which manifests in such ways as Nomad Book Club, The Beloved Listener Lounge, Nomad Contemplations, Nomad Devotionals and Nomad Revisited. And you may find yourself the proud owner of a Beloved Listener mug! Head over to our Patreon page for more information. If you're not fussed about the bonus content, or you want to donate in pounds sterling, you can make a one-off or regular donation through PayPal, the links to which you can find on our support page. You might also want to have a look at our blog, which we're now using to share the stories of the evolving faith of our podcast listeners.  And if you're looking for other people to share this journey with, then register on our Listener Map, and see if any other nomads are in your area.

Released on 10 Oct 2019

Share this page...
SettingsRequest history8.3.17PHP Version2.16sRequest Duration4MBMemory UsageGET podcasts/{podcast}/episodes/{episode}
status
200 OK
full_url
https://premier.amperative.site/podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/jennie-hogan-this-is-my-body-n206
action_name
podcasts.episodes.show
controller_action
App\Http\Controllers\PodcastEpisodesController@show
Theme
Open Button Position
Hide Empty Tabs
Autoshow
Reset to defaults
status
200 OK
full_url
https://premier.amperative.site/podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/jennie-hogan-this-is-my-body-n206
action_name
podcasts.episodes.show
controller_action
App\Http\Controllers\PodcastEpisodesController@show
uri
GET podcasts/{podcast}/episodes/{episode}
scope_bindings
true
controller
App\Http\Controllers\PodcastEpisodesController@show
file
app/Http/Controllers/PodcastEpisodesController.php:20-36
middleware
web
duration
2.16s
peak_memory
4MB
response
text/html; charset=UTF-8
request_format
html
request_query
[]
request_request
[]
request_headers
0 of 0
array:15 [ "host" => array:1 [ 0 => "premier.amperative.site" ] "connection" => array:1 [ 0 => "keep-alive" ] "pragma" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache" ] "cache-control" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache" ] "sec-ch-ua" => array:1 [ 0 => ""Chromium";v="130", "HeadlessChrome";v="130", "Not?A_Brand";v="99"" ] "sec-ch-ua-mobile" => array:1 [ 0 => "?0" ] "sec-ch-ua-platform" => array:1 [ 0 => ""Windows"" ] "upgrade-insecure-requests" => array:1 [ 0 => "1" ] "user-agent" => array:1 [ 0 => "Mozilla/5.0 AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko; compatible; ClaudeBot/1.0; +claudebot@anthropic.com)" ] "accept" => array:1 [ 0 => "text/html,application/xhtml+xml,application/xml;q=0.9,image/avif,image/webp,image/apng,*/*;q=0.8,application/signed-exchange;v=b3;q=0.7" ] "sec-fetch-site" => array:1 [ 0 => "none" ] "sec-fetch-mode" => array:1 [ 0 => "navigate" ] "sec-fetch-user" => array:1 [ 0 => "?1" ] "sec-fetch-dest" => array:1 [ 0 => "document" ] "accept-encoding" => array:1 [ 0 => "gzip, deflate, br, zstd" ] ]
request_cookies
[]
response_headers
0 of 0
array:3 [ "content-type" => array:1 [ 0 => "text/html; charset=UTF-8" ] "cache-control" => array:1 [ 0 => "no-cache, private" ] "date" => array:1 [ 0 => "Fri, 27 Jun 2025 05:07:00 GMT" ] ]
session_attributes
0 of 0
array:1 [ "_token" => "54qL2jVRBWsgi0gDyI192xVAwHCRrKdePbKX8622" ]
    • Booting (37.14ms)time
    • Application (2.12s)time
    • Routing (4.45ms)
    • 1 x Application (98.28%)
      2.12s
      1 x Booting (1.72%)
      37.14ms
      1 x Routing (0.21%)
      4.45ms
      62 templates were rendered
      • 1x templates.podcast-episodes.showshow.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x livewire.section-podcast-playersection-podcast-player.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.sections.header-playerheader-player.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.sections.header-topheader-top.blade.php#?blade
      • 35x components.iconicon.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.player.tracktrack.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.modals.modal-confirmationmodal-confirmation.blade.php#?blade
      • 3x components.modals.generic-1generic-1.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.sharethissharethis.blade.php#?blade
      • 3x components.cards.episodeepisode.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.modals.model-show-signupmodel-show-signup.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.recommendations.index-bespokeindex-bespoke.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.promotional-blockspromotional-blocks.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.sections.footerfooter.blade.php#?blade
      • 2x components.form.inputinput.blade.php#?blade
      • 2x components.form.input-groupinput-group.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.layouts.mastermaster.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.faviconfavicon.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.social-metasocial-meta.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.modals.searchsearch.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.toast-controllertoast-controller.blade.php#?blade
      • 1x components.modals.model-show-thank-youmodel-show-thank-you.blade.php#?blade
      uri
      GET podcasts/{podcast}/episodes/{episode}
      middleware
      web
      scope_bindings
      true
      controller
      App\Http\Controllers\PodcastEpisodesController@show
      as
      podcasts.episodes.show
      file
      app/Http/Controllers/PodcastEpisodesController.php:20-36
      26 statements were executed (14 duplicates)Show only duplicates70.12ms
      • RedirectMiddleware.php#49premier740μsselect * from `redirects` where `is_regex` = 1 and `redirects`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Middleware/RedirectMiddleware.php:49
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:116
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:797
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:776
      • RedirectMiddleware.php#79premier500μsselect * from `redirects` where `is_regex` = 0 and `match` = '/podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/jennie-hogan-this-is-my-body-n206' and `is_active` = 1 and `redirects`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 0
        • 1: /podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/jennie-hogan-this-is-my-body-n206
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Middleware/RedirectMiddleware.php:79
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:116
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:797
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:776
      • DatabaseSessionHandler.php#97premier560μsselect * from `sessions` where `id` = 'Y0CFR11Ix7Fdef4SoHw5Nz3nIFzAilrBwbRrXPES' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: Y0CFR11Ix7Fdef4SoHw5Nz3nIFzAilrBwbRrXPES
        Backtrace
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/DatabaseSessionHandler.php:97
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php:113
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php:101
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php:85
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Middleware/StartSession.php:147
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#42premier13.41msselect * from `podcasts` where `slug` = 'nomad-podcast' and `is_active` = 1 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: nomad-podcast
        • 1: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:42
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ImplicitRouteBinding.php:61
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:947
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Middleware/SubstituteBindings.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#59premier16.96msselect * from `podcast_episodes` where `podcast_episodes`.`podcast_id` = 58 and `podcast_episodes`.`podcast_id` is not null and `slug` = 'jennie-hogan-this-is-my-body-n206' and `podcast_episodes`.`deleted_at` is null order by `published_at` desc limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: jennie-hogan-this-is-my-body-n206
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ImplicitRouteBinding.php:56
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Router.php:947
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Middleware/SubstituteBindings.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
      • PromotionalBlockCacheMiddleware.php#24premier1.93msselect * from `promotional_blocks` where (`display_from` is null or `display_from` < '2025-06-27 06:07:00') and (`display_to` is null or `display_to` > '2025-06-27 06:07:00')
        Bindings
        • 0: 2025-06-27 06:07:00
        • 1: 2025-06-27 06:07:00
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Middleware/PromotionalBlockCacheMiddleware.php:24
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/Repository.php:397
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Cache/CacheManager.php:408
        • app/Http/Middleware/PromotionalBlockCacheMiddleware.php:23
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Pipeline/Pipeline.php:180
      • PodcastEpisodesController.php#22premier1.52msselect exists(select * from `brands` where `brands`.`id` is null and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null) as `exists`
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Controllers/PodcastEpisodesController.php:22
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Controller.php:54
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/ControllerDispatcher.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Route.php:259
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Routing/Route.php:205
      • PodcastEpisode.php#195premier3.06msselect exists(select * from `musicables` where `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\PodcastEpisode' and `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 11121 and `musicables`.`musicable_id` is not null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: App\Models\PodcastEpisode
        • 1: 11121
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:104
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • PodcastEpisode.php#102premier5.14msselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`id` = 58 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:102
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:104
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • Podcast.php#215premier590μsselect exists(select * from `music_genres` inner join `musicables` on `music_genres`.`id` = `musicables`.`music_genre_id` where `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 58 and `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\Podcast' and `music_genres`.`deleted_at` is null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: App\Models\Podcast
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Podcast.php:215
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:104
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
      • SectionPodcastPlayer.php#108premier430μsselect * from `listenable_progress_items` where `listenable_progress_items`.`listenable_type` = 'App\Models\PodcastEpisode' and `listenable_progress_items`.`listenable_id` = 11121 and `listenable_progress_items`.`listenable_id` is not null and `user_id` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: App\Models\PodcastEpisode
        • 1: 11121
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:108
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • SectionPodcastPlayer.php#168premier8.13msselect * from `podcast_episodes` where `podcast_id` = 58 and `published_at` < '2019-10-10 10:43:25' and `podcast_episodes`.`deleted_at` is null order by `published_at` desc limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: 2019-10-10 10:43:25
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:168
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:45
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • SectionPodcastPlayer.php#178premier6.89msselect * from `podcast_episodes` where `podcast_id` = 58 and `published_at` > '2019-10-10 10:43:25' and `podcast_episodes`.`deleted_at` is null order by `published_at` asc limit 3
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: 2019-10-10 10:43:25
        Backtrace
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:178
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:46
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • PodcastEpisode.php#195premier710μsselect exists(select * from `musicables` where `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\PodcastEpisode' and `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 11121 and `musicables`.`musicable_id` is not null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: App\Models\PodcastEpisode
        • 1: 11121
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:4
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
      • Podcast.php#215premier540μsselect exists(select * from `music_genres` inner join `musicables` on `music_genres`.`id` = `musicables`.`music_genre_id` where `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 58 and `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\Podcast' and `music_genres`.`deleted_at` is null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: App\Models\Podcast
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Podcast.php:215
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:4
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
      • Setting.php#20premier1msselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
      • Setting.php#20premier560μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
      • Setting.php#20premier430μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/View.php:195
      • PodcastEpisode.php#195premier1.01msselect exists(select * from `musicables` where `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\PodcastEpisode' and `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 11121 and `musicables`.`musicable_id` is not null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: App\Models\PodcastEpisode
        • 1: 11121
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:132
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:93
      • Podcast.php#215premier740μsselect exists(select * from `music_genres` inner join `musicables` on `music_genres`.`id` = `musicables`.`music_genre_id` where `musicables`.`musicable_id` = 58 and `musicables`.`musicable_type` = 'App\Models\Podcast' and `music_genres`.`deleted_at` is null) as `exists`
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        • 1: App\Models\Podcast
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Podcast.php:215
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:195
        • app/Http/Livewire/SectionPodcastPlayer.php:132
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/BoundMethod.php:36
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Container/Util.php:41
      • PodcastEpisode.php#102premier910μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`id` = 58 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:102
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:129
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:168
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
      • PodcastEpisode.php#102premier990μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`id` = 58 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:102
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:129
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:168
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
      • PodcastEpisode.php#102premier1.58msselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`id` = 58 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 58
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:102
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:129
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:168
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:84
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:59
      • Setting.php#20premier810μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_login_modal_title' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_login_modal_title
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:110
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:69
      • Setting.php#20premier530μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_login_modal_subtitle' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_login_modal_subtitle
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:110
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:69
      • Setting.php#20premier450μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:110
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/ComponentConcerns/RendersLivewireComponents.php:69
      App\Models\Setting
      6Setting.php#?
      App\Models\Podcast
      5Podcast.php#?
      App\Models\PodcastEpisode
      5PodcastEpisode.php#?
      section-podcast-player #2SFCZwNGBv6IAGOGwF6Y
      array:5 [ "data" => array:10 [ "podcast" => App\Models\Podcast {#2051 #connection: "mysq...
          _token
          54qL2jVRBWsgi0gDyI192xVAwHCRrKdePbKX8622
          ClearShow all
          Date ↕MethodURLData
          #12025-06-27 06:07:02GET/podcasts/nomad-podcast/episodes/jennie-hogan-this-is-my-body-n2066226161