Day 6 - Issue 34

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Luke 9:23-24 NLT 
Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.”
I have spent many hours trying to hang on to my own life. Who doesn’t invest time reflecting on who they really are? The internet is awash with courses offering answers to the mysteries of our psychological make-up, and I serve as a spiritual coach and director, so I have bought into the people development business.  
Jesus’ emphasis was to redirect our gaze from ourselves to our creator. This makes sense, since the one who crafted me is the one who truly knows me. Yet an insistent voice within me demands the right of self-expression, often at the expense and suppression of others expressing themselves. So what will I compromise to secure my desired ambitions? Jesus is uncompromising in his teaching. No one can carry a cross inconspicuously. It will impact all of my life. 
While this sounds harsh, it has become a sweet journey. As I try to shoulder the cross, and I drop it regularly when distracted, I find a fresh reminder of the fullness of joy found in God alone. I must let go of my desires when they prove obstructions to the life of spirit that I can only find in God. Have I mastered this way of living? By no means! I am still all too often consumed with my fears, doubts and disappointment. I face the challenge of fierce temptation and must fight to resist its attraction. Sometimes I succeed, other times I fail. But God always forgives and encourages me to resume the walk of faith in his footsteps. I am conflicted. My lips say yes to God; my heart will always drag a little bit behind and consider doing it my way.  
QUESTION: What sort of life do you want? Is it one where you are in control? 
PRAYER: Help me, at least for today, to give my life to you. And to do the same tomorrow.  

Released on 8 Jul 2020

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        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:109
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier690μsselect * from `audio_series` where `audio_series`.`brand_id` = 81 and `audio_series`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `audio_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `audio_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `audio_series`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:110
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier670μsselect * from `article_series` where `article_series`.`brand_id` = 81 and `article_series`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `article_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `article_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `article_series`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:111
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier710μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`brand_id` = 81 and `podcasts`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `podcasts`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `podcasts`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:112
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • Podcast.php#137premier480μsselect * from `brands` where `brands`.`id` = 81 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Podcast.php:137
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:46
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier620μsselect * from `brand_pages` where `brand_pages`.`brand_id` = 81 and `brand_pages`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `brand_pages`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `brand_pages`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `brand_pages`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:109
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:52
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier680μsselect * from `audio_series` where `audio_series`.`brand_id` = 81 and `audio_series`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `audio_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `audio_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `audio_series`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:110
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:52
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier790μsselect * from `article_series` where `article_series`.`brand_id` = 81 and `article_series`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `article_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `article_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `article_series`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:111
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:52
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier770μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`brand_id` = 81 and `podcasts`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `podcasts`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `podcasts`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:112
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:52
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • Setting.php#20premier430μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
      App\Models\Brand
      7Brand.php#?
      App\Models\Podcast
      7Podcast.php#?
      App\Models\PodcastEpisode
      5PodcastEpisode.php#?
      App\Models\Setting
      3Setting.php#?
      section-podcast-player #ngx5px1jpMAjZF35nsYN
      array:4 [ "data" => array:8 [ "podcast" => App\Models\Podcast {#2312 #connection: "mysql...
          _token
          RMWfXxntmhrDbXiNZt7qHBy2P0CiyTi9199JkkJv
          ClearShow all
          Date ↕MethodURLData
          #12025-06-02 18:33:41GET/be-still-and-know/podcasts/episodes/day-6-issue-346437221