Day 36 - Issue 34

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John 1:4-5 NLT 
'The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.'
Bad news penetrates deeper than we can ever imagine. Our world slows, the voices around us fade and we become transfixed by the new reality we face. Every day, people receive distressing, often life-changing, news and their perspective on life, themselves and others is forever altered. Last Christmas Eve, as we were celebrating the joyful news of our daughter’s engagement, she learned that one of her dear friends had been killed in a road traffic accident, driving home to join her parents for Christmas. Who cannot imagine the scene of tragic pain unfolding in a family home that Christmas; a season of hope disintegrating into one of hopelessness.  
Where, we cry, is the sunshine within such a scene? There are moments when the bleakness of life experience is overwhelming. The clouds gather, the storm ensues and summer is just a distant memory.  
The temptation is to strike out at God, and I may do so. God can cope and fully understands our reaction. Pain hurts; we have to express its depth and reality. Yet, I must choose to find some means to imagine the sun that perpetually shines despite the strength of the storm. I must hang on to the thinnest threads of grace I can discern. I will not make it through without God, yet in many ways God appears to be the source of the pain I seek relief from. These are times when I think in minutes. I cannot imagine hours or days ahead. I must cry out for grace now, if I’m ever to make it beyond this moment with my sanity and faith in some serviceable shape.  
Pain is all-encompassing. It attacks both mental and emotional stability. It raises questions over our willingness to maintain a friendship with God. It’s a challenging space to find God, and tiring beyond anything I’ve experienced. I demand quick fixes, a way out from the inner turmoil and acute weight of circumstances over which I have no control. Yet I have discovered God is present, even as I hurt to an indescribable degree.  
QUESTION: Will you go in search of the sun behind the storm clouds? 
PRAYER: Be close when pain strikes, Lord. 

Released on 19 Aug 2020

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        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:38
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      • PodcastEpisode.php#132premier450μsselect * from `brands` where `brands`.`id` = 81 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/PodcastEpisode.php:132
        • view::livewire.section-podcast-player:194
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:38
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/CompilerEngine.php:75
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:16
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier1.01msselect * from `brand_pages` where `brand_pages`.`brand_id` = 81 and `brand_pages`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `brand_pages`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `brand_pages`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `brand_pages`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:109
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier660μsselect * from `audio_series` where `audio_series`.`brand_id` = 81 and `audio_series`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `audio_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `audio_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `audio_series`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:110
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier820μsselect * from `article_series` where `article_series`.`brand_id` = 81 and `article_series`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `article_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `article_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `article_series`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:111
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier720μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`brand_id` = 81 and `podcasts`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `podcasts`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `podcasts`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:112
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:43
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • Podcast.php#137premier380μsselect * from `brands` where `brands`.`id` = 81 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Podcast.php:137
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:46
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier540μsselect * from `brand_pages` where `brand_pages`.`brand_id` = 81 and `brand_pages`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `brand_pages`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `brand_pages`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `brand_pages`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:109
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:52
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier780μsselect * from `audio_series` where `audio_series`.`brand_id` = 81 and `audio_series`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `audio_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `audio_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `audio_series`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:110
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:52
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier600μsselect * from `article_series` where `article_series`.`brand_id` = 81 and `article_series`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `article_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `article_series`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `article_series`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:111
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:52
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • ContentFamilyTrait.php#18premier870μsselect * from `podcasts` where `podcasts`.`brand_id` = 81 and `podcasts`.`brand_id` is not null and ((not exists (select * from `brands` where `podcasts`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null)) or (exists (select * from `brands` where `podcasts`.`brand_id` = `brands`.`id` and `is_active` = 1 and `brands`.`deleted_at` is null))) and `is_active` = 1 and `podcasts`.`deleted_at` is null
        Bindings
        • 0: 81
        • 1: 1
        • 2: 1
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Traits/ContentFamilyTrait.php:18
        • app/Models/Brand.php:112
        • view::components.sections.sub-menu-brand:52
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
      • Setting.php#20premier400μsselect * from `settings` where `setting_key` = 'web_donation_link' limit 1
        Bindings
        • 0: web_donation_link
        Backtrace
        • app/Models/Setting.php:20
        • app/Helpers/Settings.php:6
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:124
        • vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/View/Engines/PhpEngine.php:58
        • vendor/livewire/livewire/src/Mechanisms/ExtendBlade/ExtendedCompilerEngine.php:22
      App\Models\Brand
      7Brand.php#?
      App\Models\Podcast
      7Podcast.php#?
      App\Models\PodcastEpisode
      5PodcastEpisode.php#?
      App\Models\Setting
      3Setting.php#?
      section-podcast-player #ZMReqjh67H9ZUPURxK8X
      array:4 [ "data" => array:8 [ "podcast" => App\Models\Podcast {#2312 #connection: "mysql...
          _token
          pcK0jyHyT9bsepvrt3BTNlOa2L9IwbsI92J7ukSH
          ClearShow all
          Date ↕MethodURLData
          #12025-06-05 13:47:21GET/be-still-and-know/podcasts/episodes/day-36-issue-346436221