17 Sep 2018
Guvna B: My parents moved from Ghana in their early 20s. In most African countries faith is a huge part of the culture. My family were Christian, so one of the first things they did when they got to London was find a local church and they started taking me when I was young. But I dont think they ever taught me what it meant to be a Christian at my age. They just expected it to be a way of life for me. I was about 14 the first time I actually heard the gospel, but I shied away from it and was still living a lukewarm life. In church Id behave one way, but on my estate or at school it was very tough for me not to compromise.
GB: My youth leader found out Id been suspended from school and was shocked. He was like: No way, hes an amazing kid. After he did some digging he found out I was far from a great kid. He sat down with me and explained what it truly meant to be a Christian, what Jesus did for me and why it would be really beneficial for me to at least try to live for Jesus wholeheartedly. That was the first time anyone had sat me down, and he was just a normal guy. He liked the same kind of music as me and understood my culture. I dont think you have to be exactly like the people youre speaking to, but it definitely helped.
That youth worker literally changed my life, and its why I do youth work now. I know how much of a change it can make in someones life if the right person is there at the right time. I love this quote: Be who you needed when you were younger. Thats what I try to be to young people.
GB: It was never meant to be an album. I actually had my album 80 per cent completed, and then my dad passed away and it kind of put everything on pause. A couple of months after he died I was on tour with Matt Redman. I had a day off, so I just started writing a diary because my mum and wife told me I hadnt really communicated how I was feeling.
I find it really hard to write about how Im feeling, so I started to write a lyrical diary. I just started to rap my thoughts and they were some of the easiest lyrics Ive ever written because they were straight from the heart. I didnt ever think theyd see the light of day; I felt that kind of content was way too honest and real and vulnerable. But I just got the bravery and God gave me peace about sharing it, so thats why I decided to put it out.
GB: Not very well! I guess the first month or so I was in deep shock. I didnt really pray at all. I didnt really have a relationship with God in those moments; I was kind of in autopilot. Im the eldest child, so my main priority was to be there for my mum and younger brother.
The thing that made it difficult for me to find out what my faith meant in all this was people saying: Dont worry, things will get back to normal soon or God is still good. In my head I would think: Things wont get back to normal. Theyll be very different.
Its better to be a light than to curse the darkness
I learnt to see the blessing in every day and found that even on the worst days there are still things I can be grateful for. Psalm 13 was massive for me, and it was the first time Id really taken it in. David was saying stuff like: How long will you hide your face from me, Lord? He was being brutally honest and that was a game changer because I felt I could pray honest prayers. In the church I grew up in it was like you werent allowed to doubt God, but rereading Psalm 13 made me see Im allowed to tell God how I truly feel. If theres a God big enough to deal with my doubts, anger and questions, thats a brave God and Im happy to keep giving this a go.
GB: I think everyones different, but for me someone who struggles to communicate how Im feeling my mates coming round to have a drink or play PlayStation was really helpful. They might not know the right words to say, but knowing theyre there is enough.
That youth worker literally changed my life, and its why I do youth work now
GB: Yeah, that was really hard because Daisy was my best friend at secondary school. Both of those big scenarios happening in one year was a lot to deal with. Daisy sent me a Christmas card the day before she died, which I got a couple of days after she passed away. That was a massive lesson to me to try and be there for my friends as much as possible and check up on them and do things like send nice texts and Christmas cards.
GB: Yeah, because now more than ever we are very critical of other peoples decisions. But I feel like everyones got an outlet: something they enjoy doing thats a way of them coming through whatever theyre going through. That could be writing lyrics, talking to someone, drawing pictures. Youve just got to find out how your brain works and how you feel comfortable processing your thoughts and emotions. Thats the mistake a lot of people make: thinking theres only one way to deal with issues.
GB: People love you! My friend who committed suicide was so loved. He had a little boy and a girlfriend, and all his friends thought the world of him. Hed smile every day, but we didnt know what he was going through. He didnt know how much he was loved. Id say if youre going through something, talk about it with people who love you. As those who work with young people, weve got the chance to make a huge difference in someones life.
GB: One of my favourite people was a youth leader in his 50s. He had a rubbish dress sense, but he cared about us. I was like, this is the least cool person Ive ever met, but he cares and thats super relevant. You just need to be yourself and care. Young people respond to that.
GB: Yeah, and Im grateful I did that. People around me said: Are you sure you want to put this out? because its a bit much. Its not that I want to put out pain irresponsibly, but sometimes the Church can put out truth irresponsibly and they dont prepare people for real-life situations. We serve a big God, so we can put out how were truly feeling and just trust that collectively we can deal with it.
GB: The foundational things that help us get through Gods love, peace, protection and favour still stand. I feel like we can talk about our pain, but it doesnt have to end there. We can work with people to show them Gods love, truth, peace and word.
GB: Maybe in Heart of a king: Its better to be a light than to curse the darkness, especially with whats going on at the moment in drill music and youth culture. Ive done a few interviews recently with people who havent been to areas where these things are happening, and they dont have relationships with young people. Theyre just pointing the finger. I think its a lot better for society if we look in the mirror and say: Im going to be a light in someones life rather than just pointing fingers and cursing all the dark stuff thats happening.
Click here to request a free copy of Premier Youth and Children's work magazine
Multi-award-winning rap artist Guvna B released an album earlier this year that speaks honestly about his grief following his fathers death. Editor Ruth Jackson spoke to Guvna about faith, vulnerability and hope